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I can smell You on the wind
The damp stems are a testament to Your arrival
You are the petals of the softest flower
The yellows and pinks opening for the blush of spring
The newly sprouted fern pushing to the top
and I, like these delicates, am flexing my fingers
Stretching toward the sun
Thirsting for Your rain
Your love stretches over me like ivy on iron
Growing up and away from the soil
Cut away my growth, ready me for Spring
Bring Your rain, Your sun, Your wind
I am ready to push through toward You

*written with thoughts of Gladwell’s breakthrough post turning over in my heart

Sweet Jesus, show me what I am hiding from.
I can feel the edges, the shape of the thing but cannot see through the bag it is hiding in.
I know that it is detouring my thoughts to a place I would rather not traverse.
I know that I want to hide, to not be known.
I am hiding my small self between words, collapsing into someone elses thoughts.
I feel as if I am behind a barred window, rattling the casing.
Stab holes in my shell so I can see past myself into You
You are my beacon and i will gravitate toward you always.

Thank you for the quiet
For the night that is so still
The stars firmly hold their place behind the clouds
Raising my eyes heavenward
I praise you for this day
For your vastness
For your comfort that spreads across my house like a breeze
The current washes away the day
And brings laughter
Thank you for loving me enough to give me my boys
Small arms wrapped around me help me remember how much more you love me
His heart beat is so small, bird like
But even you watch the sparrow
We are safe in your arms
Your hands never tire

Lord, please grant me the promises in Ephesians.
I need your power and your life.
I need your wisdom to steer my
My situation seems impossible but within you there are no walls
Search my heart and tell me what is right.
I do not want to harm
But I have to ask the question
When is enough enough?
I am to love at all times but when do I stop and place boundaries?
How do I decide the difference between need and manipulation.
Lord this decsion is too big for me
My heart is too involved.
Please make my path evident and my heart sure.
Give me contentment in whatever you decide.

Lord, you are my carpenter.
You have taken me and cut me into shape
You have smoothed my rough edges
Gone with the grain
You have brought out my deep color
Richer in hue than I could have imagined
You not only knew my potential before you started but also knew my place within your plans
You have cut away the diseased wood,
The places overtaken by decay
I was once a sappling but you have grown me from your everlasting spring
I have grown strong and tall, limbs ever reaching for you.
You knew when to harvest me, when I was to fulfill your purpose.

Lord, I am devestated.
I have prayed to feel your pain for your children
To gain your passion
Lord, I cannot stop the tears
The deep grief
How selfish is our human race!
That babes would not be given a fighting chance
That nourishment would never once touch their lips before they were taken to your throne room
That they would never feel their mothers breath on their cheek, whispering words of love
How demeaning are we to close our doors
Our ears
Our hearts
That we refuse to be touched by these
Small bundles
Their fingers out stretched, gasping against the pain
Oh lord save us! We are heathens in beautiful robes
We sing and laugh, live and pray
Shutting the heart wrenching images away deep in our minds
Who are we to call ourselves your children?
We who remain immobile but have the ability to save
Forever burn the image of starvation and pain into my spirit so I may not forget your children
Move me to save
Enable me to heal
Open the flood gate Lord
Let me not forget

little ole me

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